Santa Vs Banta:: Some cool Jokes
1]When Santa met with an Accident...
Santa and Banta driving on a street,in different directions. Out of some unfortunate mishap, the cars slammed into each other, head-on. They were able to get out of their cars without any serious injury, but the cars were totaled.
Before Santa could say anything, Banta said, "Instead of fighting over whose fault it was, why don`t we just celebrate that we were able to come out alive?"
Santa said, "Yeah, good idea!"
"I have a bottle of whisky in the trunk, why don`t I pull that out?",suggested Banta. He went around, and luckily the bottle was not damaged in the accident.
He gave it to Santa and said, "Here, drink some!"
Santa took the bottle and chugged half of it down. Then he wiped his mouth and handed the bottle over to Banta.
"Here, you have some!"
Banta passed it back and said, "No, I think I`ll wait until the police get here
Before Santa could say anything, Banta said, "Instead of fighting over whose fault it was, why don`t we just celebrate that we were able to come out alive?"
Santa said, "Yeah, good idea!"
"I have a bottle of whisky in the trunk, why don`t I pull that out?",suggested Banta. He went around, and luckily the bottle was not damaged in the accident.
He gave it to Santa and said, "Here, drink some!"
Santa took the bottle and chugged half of it down. Then he wiped his mouth and handed the bottle over to Banta.
"Here, you have some!"
Banta passed it back and said, "No, I think I`ll wait until the police get here
2]Parachute ...
Once, a Hindu, a Sardar and an American were travelling in an aeroplane. Suddenly, something went wrong and the engines stalled. They had no para****es with them. So all the three of them decided to risk their lives and jump out of their planes.First, the Sardar jumped out. He removed his turban, used it as a para****e and jumped. Using the turban he slowly floated down.Then the Hindu removed his dhoti and jumped out. Again his dhoti acted as a para****e and he also floated down gently. Seeing this, the American removed his shirt and pant and jumped out. Unfortunately, they did not do well as a para****e and amrican began to fall rapidly from the plane to the ground.He passed by the Hindu who said - " May Bhagwan help you".Then he passed the Sardar. The Sardar looked at the American zooming past him and was puzzled. So he said - "I see! You want a race! Let us see who is faster" Saying so, he let go of his turban.
Once, a Hindu, a Sardar and an American were travelling in an aeroplane. Suddenly, something went wrong and the engines stalled. They had no para****es with them. So all the three of them decided to risk their lives and jump out of their planes.First, the Sardar jumped out. He removed his turban, used it as a para****e and jumped. Using the turban he slowly floated down.Then the Hindu removed his dhoti and jumped out. Again his dhoti acted as a para****e and he also floated down gently. Seeing this, the American removed his shirt and pant and jumped out. Unfortunately, they did not do well as a para****e and amrican began to fall rapidly from the plane to the ground.He passed by the Hindu who said - " May Bhagwan help you".Then he passed the Sardar. The Sardar looked at the American zooming past him and was puzzled. So he said - "I see! You want a race! Let us see who is faster" Saying so, he let go of his turban.
3]Banta’s English
Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out of the hall. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, to which he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I really thought, thought, thought hard... and at last wrote - THUNK "
4]I Know Everyone
Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called him bluff, "OK, Santa how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Santa and boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruises door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Santa! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Santas boss is still skeptical.
After they leave Cruises house, he tells Santa that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Santa says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes, I know him, lets fly out to Washington." And off they go.
At the White House, George W. spots Santa on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Santa, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and lets have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Santa, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Santa. "My folks are from Poland, and Ive known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Santa and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Santa says, "This will never work. I cant catch the Popes eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and Ill come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And Santa disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Santa emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
By the time Santa returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss side, Santa asks, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Whos that on the balcony with Santa Singh?"
Tired of his boasting, his boss called him bluff, "OK, Santa how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Santa and boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruises door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Santa! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Santas boss is still skeptical.
After they leave Cruises house, he tells Santa that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Santa says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes, I know him, lets fly out to Washington." And off they go.
At the White House, George W. spots Santa on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Santa, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and lets have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Santa, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Santa. "My folks are from Poland, and Ive known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Santa and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Santa says, "This will never work. I cant catch the Popes eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and Ill come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And Santa disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Santa emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
By the time Santa returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss side, Santa asks, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Whos that on the balcony with Santa Singh?"
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